64. From Germany to Canada and Australia, the journey of Elke Babicki’s memoir
“I realized my life was like a noir film and I was in it.”
In today’s special-edition Spirit conversation, I’m delighted to gain wisdom and insight from a long-time family friend, Elke Babicki.
Elke grew up in Bavaria, Germany as the daughter of a Jewish Holocaust survivor father and a German Catholic mother. Her father had lost his family and wealth at 15 when he was forcibly removed from his home. He survived five different concentration camps and started a new life – in Germany, of all places. Elke moved to Canada on her own at the age of 20 with two suitcases. Her intent was to get into the University of Toronto and study psychology, languages and literature. She realized she had a knack for psychology and became a Registered Clinical Counselor after finishing graduate school at U of T.
In 2017 she published her memoir, first in Germany as Übern Ozean. The English version published in 2021 received several awards, including the Canadian Book Club Award and National Indie Book Awards. Since then, Elke discovered there were additional survivors in her dad’s family who live in Australia. After visiting them, Elke learned additional information, and that led to a new edition for Identity as well as an e-book and an audiobook.
To celebrate the brand-new audiobook version of Identity: From Holocaust to Home, I wanted to ask Elke about her deep experience with both psychology and the art of writing. In our interview, lightly edited for concision and clarity, we touch on finding inspiration in dreams; managing a surprisingly quick turnaround to write a whole book; and an unexpected family reunion in Australia.
Rachel: Hi Elke! I’ve known you for many years as my dear friend Sasha’s mother, and as a successful therapist and author. Can I ask how you consider your two vocations – psychotherapy and writing – to be related, if at all?
E: I’ve never considered myself a writer, but it seems I’ve been writing all my life, mostly reflections, observations, insights and comments and world views. In 2004, I had a very unusual dream that made me look at life differently. During a 15-month period these unusual dreams kept happening. I became more observant of my dreams and started to write those down. Some of them were actually predictive. Most dreams we have are not at all predictive, just your garden variety anxiety dreams or just some rambling about your life in general. The predictive dreams made me take notice and it was the first time I seriously thought about writing a book.
My first book Making the Connections was published in 2007. I wrote about discovering one's dream life, and a psychological state which improves your dream as well as creates a more exciting and fuller waking life. I used writing as an important tool for observing and expressing the changing psychological state in my life.
R: That’s great that you could harness such inspiration from your dreams. I usually forget mine as soon as I wake up, but I can imagine there is power in writing them down and articulating your stories in a public space, outside of your mind.
I understand your memoir was first published in German, in 2017, as Übern Ozean. When did you start writing your memoir? Why was it important to you to publish in German first, instead of English?
E: I first started writing my memoir in January 2016. By November 2016 I had a draft. At that time, as fate would have it, a newspaper in Germany asked me for a contributing article, which I did. The newspaper reported back that many people called in about the article and asked for more. I responded, that indeed I had more, I had a whole manuscript for a memoir. They said, okay, send it over.
The editor Sophie Schattenkirchner, who spoke English well, read my manuscript and ran to the publisher. The publisher agreed immediately to publish it, as the newspaper also had a publishing house. The only problem was it needed to be in German. Not only did they want me to provide it in German, they wanted the book launch to be November 11, 2017, Kristallnacht (Night of the Broken Glass). Therefore the German editor and I got immediately busy. We were both writing drafts back and forth daily for months and got it done by mid April 2017, so it could go to final edits, formatting, creation of covers and all the other multitude of things that needs doing before a book hits the shelves.
R: That’s an amazingly quick turnaround – I know some authors have taken years to edit their memoir. Well done on writing in German as well!
What was the hardest part of editing with such a short timeline? Or, the most enjoyable part?
E: The collaboration with Sophie Schattenkirchner (in the photo) was a blessing, and it was also hard. The two of us were equally driven, excited and pushing hard to get done what we had to. I loved being able to write in German and addressing my audience which I knew so well. My writing flowed more naturally. But the German audience has different interests and later it made it harder for me to translate it back into English.
R: Certainly, you detail a lot of trauma in this book, as well as a lot of personal resilience and triumph. What sources of strength did you rely on to overcome those difficult times?
E: One of the sources of strength I relied on was to not ever give up. Coming to Canada on my own at 20 wasn’t easy. I had two suitcases and $3000 to last me to get into university and live for a year hopefully. There were some hurdles, like it turned out my English wasn’t as good as I thought. I couldn’t make heads or tails out of the admissions procedures at U of T, and I ended up finding that my room was in a really sketchy area of the city. What do you expect, when you come as a naive young girl from rural Germany? But I had learned resilience, there was no way I was turning back. That just wasn’t an option. If my dad could reinvent himself at 20 after losing his family, his wealth and his opportunity for education, I would be able to do this too.
R: Well put. There’s a lot of strength in thinking of our family members and role models, and pushing forward.
Can you elaborate on the process of writing this book? How did writing these events help you process them?
E: I could not not write this book. I’ve always known I’ve had to write this book. Even as a child I knew I had a mission; I had to tell this story. It is meant to help others to be resilient, conscious and responsible in their lives. Once I started writing, it also became very cathartic for me. I realized my life was like a noir film and I was in it. I had suppressed those emotions for too long, it made me own my emotions a lot more.
Here is a section from when my dad Alex was torn away from his home and his family. The first thing the SS did was to shoot his three German Shepherds, Luka was Alex’s favourite - the excerpt:
An SS man with a revolver sat in between them, watching them closely. No one said another word. The truck raced over field paths. They all felt sick from what was happening and being jostled back and forth. Alex thought he could escape if he stood up quickly and jumped out the back of the truck. But they were driving through the wide open fields and he would be an easy target for the guard to shoot at. He thought it might work when they reach the forest. He knew the forest. He could hide in the woods overnight, make it home the following day and then call his uncle who lived in Wielun for help. He held his bloodied head in his hands. He fainted for a moment but came to when the truck jerked to a halt. They were at a railway station.
An old locomotive engine steamed and hissed. A guard tore the tailgate open and bellowed, “Raus! Schnell! Everyone out!” One after the other, the families tumbled out of the truck. The station was crowded with people of all ages; elderly people with walking sticks stood side by side, little children held dolls and stuffed animals. Mothers cradled tiny infants in their arms. Fathers held onto toddlers and small children. Everyone old enough, able to carry, had a suitcase.
Alex was deafened by the frightened people wailing and crying. The continuous shouting of the SS men and the barking dogs was unsettling. He thought of Luka. These dogs were vicious and mean.
“Schnell! Schnell!” screamed the guard as he motioned for them to hurry up. He pushed Alex’s father and his mother forward. They held tight to Toltze and Hanna. Another guard roughly pulled both of his brothers to the track and barked at Alex, “You! Pig! Get over here too!”
Now, thought Alex. Now is my last chance to run. But it was crowded and he worried if he was shot at, they might hit other people as well. “Stay together”, he heard his father say. “I’ll come and get you.”
Alex looked at the long lines of cattle cars. Desperate people were forced and pushed in no matter how crowded the cars became as the SS men screamed. When Alex was crammed in, it was pitch black and smelled of excrement and urine. In the darkness, Alex could hear infants weeping, children wailing, and grown-ups lamenting in their shock.
“Get in with you!” An SS man on the platform roared while brutally kicking an old man in the ribs who had been trampled and had fallen to the ground. The man was slight and frail and doubled over in pain. His wife, already on the train, who saw what was happening, climbed out and threw herself over her husband. The SS man pulled out his gun and shot them both. There was an outcry in the cattle car and then it became deadly still.
“Did you see that, you filthy Jews?” an SS man yelled into the opening. “That is what happens to you if you don’t listen!” Deadly silence. The SS man heaved the door shut and bolted it from the outside.
The train began to rattle and hiss, and then started to pick up speed. People stood still, leaning on each other, packed like sardines for hours. Some found a bit of space to sit. Hours turned into days. There was no food or drink. Alex inched himself closer to one of the slats in the timber walls to breathe some fresh air. He tried to look through the tiny openings to see whether he could recognize where they were going.
Then the train came to a stop. Some people saw the sign on the platform. “Auschwitz!” “It’s Auschwitz!” “Auschwitz!” People yelled. Alex had never heard of the place. No one seemed to know where they were or what was going on. The cattle car doors were jolted open. Guards pulled people out of the train. Alex’s mother and sisters were shoved to one side while Alex and his father and brothers were pushed to the other. SS guards grabbed their suitcases, marked them with chalk and threw them on a pile into the middle of the wide platform. “You’ll be able to take them back later,” an SS man roared. Another SS guard screamed at them, “Stand in line, one behind the other!” “Schnell! Schnell!”
R: I’m glad you could bring your vision to fruition. Thank you for sharing such an action-packed excerpt.
The audiobook for Identity: From Holocaust to Home was just published. Can you tell me more about the process of recording the audiobook?
E: The audiobook came about when I came back from Australia and I published my third edition of Identity. The description of my dad’s pre-war life was more filled in with details from my dad’s cousins in Australia. Then I met a woman named Bonni Moore, who said she was impressed by my memoir and she’d be delighted to make it into an audiobook. It took longer than expected as Bonni was getting married and moving and so forth. But she is the one who did the voice over and it’s all done and available!
R: That’s lovely of Bonni to offer. Listening to the audiobook sample, she has a clean and clear voice which allows the listener to focus on your story.
What’s your favourite thing that you learned during that visit to Australia?
E: For starters, seeing my cousin Annette look like me, floored me. I saw her stature and some mannerisms which I immediately identified with. My family all had similar psychological make-up, they had become psychologists, physicians, lawyers, entrepreneurs and had multiplied into a very remarkable bunch. I so enjoyed their keen perceptiveness, kindness, their humanity and humbleness throughout it all. I felt such love surrounding me and I certainly felt it in kind towards them.
R: That’s really special, that your book brought about a family reunion!
What’s next for your writing practice? Do you have any other projects in the works?
E: I’m always up to something in the writing department. Right now it’s mostly short stories or speeches. I’ve published some of my short stories in a couple of anthologies: West Vancouver Stories 2024 (book launch tonight - Wednesday, April 3, 2024 at the West Van Library), West Vancouver Stories: The Pandemic Project, as well as STRONG: Successful Women Share Stories of Childhood Trauma and Triumph.
R: What do you hope people will take away from your story? Are there any final thoughts you’d like to add?
E: I hope that people will feel renewed strength and enthusiasm for life. I hope that it opens them to more than just the five senses. And I hope people use their own mind and speak up for themselves. I want to clarify, that is, if they are not psychopaths and take advantage of others. Then I’d rather they find a way to control themselves. The world would be much better off that way.
R: Thanks again, Elke, for sharing your story and adding a fresh perspective. I think it’s great that you not only memorialize your parents’ experience in the Holocaust, but also act as a role model of free speech and resilience in moving abroad to find a better life.
I know you have your hands full with your new grandson, so I wish you all the best for the new audiobook release!
Do you ever remember your dreams or write them down? If you were to write a memoir, what kind of life events would you want to narrate? Let us know in the comments!